Don’t get too concerned now. I did not say babies are on the way. I only said I was getting ready to have babies. And associated with getting ready are the personal fine tuning of some character flaws, as well as the continued development of enriching skills, such as personal prayers, meditation, and education. But today I discovered that there is even more I can do to prepare for children. I can begin to buy baby products that will simultaneously develop the child and amuse me! Hurray. Here are a few of my favorites.
Rockabye Baby: Lullaby Renditions of Metallica
This is exactly what it sounds like. Who says children are being exposed to too much, too soon? Here, at rockabye baby, they are sure to push those boundaries to the furthest conceivable limit (baring blasting heavy metal through headphones on your pregnant belly for the poor unborn fetus to rock out too). While lullaby’s based upon the musical stylings of one of the hardest heavy metal bands of the 80’s may seem a tad counter intuitive, some of them are actually quite soothing.
Too bad “Enter Sandman” came off as a frightening clown song instead of a cute tune to fall asleep by.
Baby Mop: “Get Baby Ready for Housework“
And isn’t it time? Time for that lazy 8 month old crawling machine to being to pull their weight around the home. Gone are the days of happily chucking food round the house, then lackadaisically puttering around the floor in search of new adventures. This priceless invention (while unfortunately reinforcing some of the stereotypes about South East Asian child labor) allows the stay at home father a much deserved break from the pains of cleaning up after the latest failed round of “the choo choo is coming in the tunnel… open wide!”
With these, and many other inventions, parenthood is sure to be a snap! Now if I could only find someone to date me.
For a further hilarious list of insane child inventions, click here.
ha ha i’m dying! i love the baby mop. what a beautiful idea. we were actually just discussing the idea for a mop shoe the other day, but i love this idea WAY more. ha. love you boy. see you in a few weeks!
so the rockabye baby series is awesome, btw. we totally have the coldplay one…and the little man actually seems to dig it. although he seems to dig any and all types of music, so…maybe he’s not the best gauge.
the baby mop…why didn’t I think of that??? brilliant.
I actually listen to the coldplay one myself. Geeky, I know. But totally works